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Meltdown | letterstothesky's Blog


Up until an hour ago I was laying around, listening to depressing music. I have a playlist dedicated to music like that.
All I See by Lydia
Hurt by Johnny Cash
Saco Amaretto Lime by Brand New
Speaking a Dead Language by Joy Williams
Sail by Awolnation
A bunch of Lana del Ray and Drake songs. Songs that make me think about life are on the playlist. Today I put All I See on repeat and I just thought about stuff..somehow I ended up crying and broke my chain of not cutting. Yeah...I cut myself. No where visible. I dont really regret it. But I know this time it won't become a habit. It was more of a of-the-moment kind of thing. I won't lie and this will sound messed up but seeing the blood made me feel relieved. I felt so much better. Iknow, iknow that sounds messed up. It made me remember why I used to do it so much. The after feeling is like...finally being able to breathe. I won't do it again, too messy. But, I dont feel depressed or anything. In fact, I feel so much better I started cleaning and rearranging my living room. So what's to say cutting didn't help? It made me feel a million times better. ^-^

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