Rage and Tears | letterstothesky's Blog

Rage. I just feel angry. At the same time I could bawl my fucking eyes out...when I cry I want to cut. Slice my skin open. The second I lift the blade I feel so much better. When blood dots my wound I get lightheaded. I close my eyes and let the blood run. I breathe. Concentrating on nothing but my breathe and the feeling of that blood. Right now, im angry and with my sister so I have to hold back. When I cry my eyes burn and my throat gets the tear-lump. I dont make noise when I cry either. Thank gawd. It totalky has its advantages. No one can even tell. Sometimes.I want to cry but the second I let tears fall, I won't be able to stop...so ill try to ignore this feeling of sadness, anger, and lonliness..I haven't felt this way since my suicide attempt. Before I took those pills I just felt...exactly how I do now. So should I try again..? I know people wouldn't miss me as much because I dont see my friends anymore and im growing distant with my family. Suicide.. hm. I'll let the thought hang out in my mind ...for now.